The Sexually Sovereign Woman

The Sexually Sovereign Woman

At this 2016 Seven Sisters Festival in Australia, I gave a presentation called, ‘The Sexually Sovereign Woman.’ Could I have picked a more complex subject than female sexual sovereignty?! I did however share it in a simplified way, highlighting a few things that are important to know…

It’s impossible to speak of our personal autonomy or claiming our full sexual sovereignty as women, without also looking at the domestication of our wildness. Much of those facts have been forgotten and some of them are rather confronting. I began this live presentation saying that hearing some of it could feel disturbing. And so with this disclaimer I suggested staying until the end so whatever came up could be transmuted throughout the 90 minute process. Most of the women packed to the rafters in the ‘sacred space’ tent did remain. And I believe the group discussion questions at the end were & are important ones to keep alive in women’s community.

Rather than just giving my answers to the issues that continue to hinder female sexual sovereignty after approximately 8-10,000 years of patriarchy; I did something different instead. I just delivered the information society would like us all to forget about and pretend never happened. And I provided a focused experience for women to feel into their own innate wisdom, as well as their own ancestral patterns. I reminded all the women there, that the answers we need are not just found in our mental/ intellectual centre of intelligence.

Here’s some of the things I shared: since the domestication of us as as wild beings in alignment with nature; female fertility & sexuality has been used as a social resource, which was set up to be controlled by men. Even the old English words within marriage vows spoken today still contain the intention for a woman to submit herself to the patriarchal paradigm of male dominance over her, followed by the removal of her lineage by taking on his last name. Although many women and men who decide today to marry don’t necessarily consciously agree with this archaic model, they still are influenced by it.

old english

Women have way more choices and social rights than we used to, however that lingering social model of farming female sexuality is still quite present. The deferring to male desire in a relationship & in the world is extremely common. This is why attending female sexuality seminars is now so popular. With such a very long history of needing to overlook our own desires for our & our children’s physical survival, it puts into context what individual women still struggle with. Trading meat for sex and later on trading our sensuality & sexuality for the safety of a home is part of our primal history.

Reclaiming our personal power in modern relationships through this bigger picture perspective, is useful. It can invite you as a woman to consider that what you struggle with to feel empowered, is part of a much larger situation than just what you perceive as your personal limitations. I believe it can take some pressure off to remember how this separation from our full instinctual intelligence came into play, instead of just focusing on the fairly endless cycles of feeling not worthy, not good enough, not beautiful enough, not confident enough etc.

And so in the workshop, we sat ‘in the (energetic) field’ of facing these issues from the social ‘farming’ of female sexuality in our long history of domestication, and did so without flinching. Some women moved on out of the space, although most courageously remained and stayed present to what they were feeling moving through them, with the invitation to move their hips. I asked each woman to call upon her own instinctual, primal intelligence through a series of repetitive & slightly hypnotic movements. (Although the audio issues with the festival equipment prevented me from delivering that the way it was intended, it still worked!)

disturb the noise in your head

Some strong feelings got stirred from hearing me speak some facts of our domestication process, which highlighted the social control over women in relationships. However after the embodiment processes; the edge of fear, concern & trepidation was distinctly discharged. Questions about where to from here came up & rightly so, however the edge of fear or disempowerment fell away for those women who did allow themselves to drop into feeling their instinctual power. I invite women to consciously call on this forgotten resource that lives in their pelvis!

I made it clear to the women listening that I’m absolutely not anti-man, nor am I anti-marriage. I believe we can redefine our lives as much as possible. I also believe we need to be practical about facing the moment-to-moment challenges that arise in relationship, so we can stay present to the real & perhaps subtle transformations that can happen every day. For the most part, it takes staying engaged with our own embodiment process as women, so we don’t vague out in pivotal moments, dismiss our own pleasure or otherwise hand over our power.

This is why I mentioned that for me, my primary relationship is & always has been with myself. Because without that I don’t have my whole self to share with someone anyway. And I don’t just mean that as a concepts of me and mine, the ‘I’ that wants what it wants. What I’m referring to as my primary relationship is with the marriage that already occurs within me as I keep my feminine vessel open and connected to the power of Mother Earth & Father Sky. It’s not an idea in my mind, it’s a living relationship that I actively nurture by opening my mind, heart and body to the sources of intelligence that have the power to keep me aligned. It’s an important distinction because when we try to re-define ourselves from within the artificial environment of our domestication, distortions do and are bound to happen.

Tigress class SSF

We need to step outside of the illusionary social domestication model that still messes with our psychology and that’s no longer serving modern women, or men. (Yes, many men are also struggling and suffering under that patriarchal model too.) And to step outside of it we need to return to the natural world to see our whole selves in context. We did this in the workshop by powerfully claiming our direct divine connection above & below, which is also what we do in each Tigress Yoga class. It’s an embodied prayer and the result is a shift back into our original alignment. That allows us to approach life with our natural resources in tact, rather than trying to figure everything out through intellectual thought alone or only via the endless sifting through waves of emotion.

It’s a very interesting time to be alive. Many women have now have the spaciousness to focus on our own evolution as autonomous sexual beings. And many men are willing & wanting these changes to happen. The situation I’ve highlighted is not the fault of individual men living today, just as the personal fears and limitations YOU feel as a woman on the journey to reclaiming your full sexual empowerment is not just about you & your perceived lack. We have tremendous potential here and we most certainly have the power to re-arrange how we show up as women at home and in the world.

There is more to this story, however for now I want to let you know about something. I have a Group Coaching program designed to dissolve the patterning that keeps you from claiming your sexual sovereignty. It also gives hours of audio practises to help you cultivate your inner power via embodiment practises (including generating sexuality vitality with jade egg). The next chance to join this Group Coaching program opens soon. If you’d like to know more, simply put your name on this waiting list.

With Love, Dévashi

xo

For more on this subject, you might like read this International Women’s Day article next.

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