a scene from the film, ‘Hysteria’
The film ‘Hysteria’ is one of my all-time favourite movies, for reasons beyond it being known to tell the story of the first invention of the vibrator. I highly recommend seeing it if you haven’t already. It is written, directed & produced by women. It contains sophisticated levels of important themes and didn’t at all get the credit it deserved as a big budget film. What I love most is how it conveys that true pleasure or fulfilment for a woman is found in being desired for the embodiment of her liberated soul. And at the same time it is a laugh out loud kind of education into the early western inventions of the vibrator.
So anyway, onto the question – to vibrate or not to vibrate?
After a long while being immersed in sexual wisdom teachings, I can tell you there are some important things to understand about vibrators. Your sexual exploration is a very personal thing unique to you, and only you know what you really need. The thing is, often women are following what they think they should be doing rather than listening to what their bodies are actually calling for.
#1. Vibrators numb your genitals and therefore decrease pleasure. Rub your arm really fast for a while and notice what happens to sensory awareness in that area. What happens? It goes numb, you can’t feel there anymore. Less sensation = less pleasure = less orgasm. A woman’s clitoris has over 8000 nerve endings – the density of vibrators can’t really do that justice. Women who are practised in sexual arts have found this loss of sensation to be the result of vibrators. There comes a point in a woman’s sexual development when she will come to value her real, embodied sexual energy more than the temporary fixes that never really satiated her anyway. The more her sex and heart energies are connected, the less attracted women seem to be towards vibrators. Although it’s possible to bring her own consciousness and breath to the experience for a sense of connection, the limitation of the numbing effect ends up having her feel like it’s just not quite doing it for her. Awakening the subtleties of her sensual and sexual energy pathways bring pleasure so expanded and soul satisfying that it’s hard to go back. So even though our modern society projects images of the sexually liberated woman as one with all the latest, most stylish vibrator collection; the most connected & sexually liberated women I know are not the vibrator’s biggest fans.
# 2. Vibrators can create a reliance on the kind of stimulation that a human hand or sexual organ can’t sustain. And that does sound similar to the kind of reliance some grow to have on pornography to get off, instead of being able to feel a healthy response to the real human who’s in front of them. From deep exploration of expanded sexuality, I know for sure that so many people have no idea what their bodies are truly capable of, when given the chance to really open. Our culture generally seems to be pretty juvenile in its attitude and approach to sex, compared to what’s really possible when occupying our natural state.
#3. Electronics have an impact on our own electrical energy. We are already magnetic energy beings with our own unique electricity. Use of vibrators can scatter our minds and can impact our overall connection with ourselves. Understanding how to plug into your own innate electricity is ultimately much more rewarding and WAY more satisfying. The empowerment women feel from tapping into their true sexual potential is something that cannot be bought, it can only be earned. That kind of self knowledge and self belief is priceless.
#4. The best way to enjoy variety. The desire to add variety can instead be met by investing in the Mystery of Life and meeting it directly, because it never gets dull and will always surprise you. Developing respect for the awesome power of creation, that is your true sexual energy, is something that will never leave you feeling disappointed. And because truth is the ultimate aphrodisiac, learn to practise the skill of communicating your desires. It can be scary, so it does require courage. It not only spices things up, it creates real intimacy too. Because a woman’s true sexual energy begins in her positive magnetic pole (heart, breasts & throat), the closer she feels to her partner, the more pleasure will effortlessly arise.
#5. What if you are being f$@$ed over for a profit? I look forward to the day when more men and women unplug from the external devices of porn and vibrators, to put some focus on their majesty within. That would disturb billion dollar industries though. And it would disturb some pretty massive agendas that keep people from waking up. It is said that Americans spend $15 billion dollars on sex toys annually (most of which are probably vibrators). The location of these purchases are from areas considered socially conservative. Are you a blind consumer of profit-driven memes that make you think you are sexually liberated? It’s just a good question to ask. It’s also important to know that most vibrators are made from toxic, plastic substances that can leach chemicals into your body, especially when it’s inside the most absorbent, receptive part of you. (I am a fan of jade eggs, weighted balls + g spot stimulators however).
#6. Any pleasure can be better than no pleasure at all. If we are talking sexual self exploration, in most cases this statement is useful. To be cut off from experiencing the visceral experience of our sexuality is not healthy for too long. Of course intentional periods of celibacy from being sexually intimate with others is valid, although this does not need to mean disconnection from our own energy. Alone time is so perfect for establishing a renewed connection with self and a great time for new learning. Knowing how to experience multiple full body orgasm without the input of another for example, is something that requires some initial effort. Meanwhile, many women who’ve never had an orgasm are told that vibrators are the answer. It can seem like much less effort to reach for an electrical device instead of feeling connection within to generate your own orgasmic energy. However, I can tell you that building that invisible ‘muscle’ is much more worthwhile than the muscles engaged in reaching under your bed or into your bedside drawer. Although, the point remains that battery charged pleasure is better than no sexual pleasure at all. So in some stages of a woman’s development, it may be better to enjoy that rabbit profusely, even if it will result in inevitable numbing of her genitals, instead of the stagnancy of her pleasure pathways altogether. Exploring orgasm in all manner of creative ways is healthy. And all sexual self exploration is knowledge gained in the end.
#7. It takes time for a woman to re-sensitise her body after using vibrators. There really is no one prescription for everyone, so this point might seem to contradict the last one. If you’ve been using vibrators for a while and want to move towards tuning into your natural electricity, going cold turkey can be necessary. Not to abstain from orgasm, but from vibrator stimulation. The effects of sensory numbing don’t just happen with ongoing use, it can happen from just the one experience too. If you feel it’s not satisfying, it’s probably a sign your body and being is asking for something more. And you can have that. To restore sensory awareness in your genitals, committing to putting your power tools aside is a great idea. Giving your body, your nervous system, space to experience it’s natural state is where re-sensitisation begins. Remembering or learning for the first time how to access your natural inner resources is extremely empowering, but you will need to be patient with yourself. It’s different for everyone how long it takes. Usually it means letting go of pent up tension (that vibrators also create) via feeling and releasing your emotions. Two highly effective ways for women to thaw out from the numbing effects of vibrator use, is both Tigress Yoga (especially with a jade egg) + a 15min practise to share with a partner called OM (Orgasmic Meditation).
#8. Ask within to see if you are avoiding vulnerability and intimacy. Following on from the last point, overriding our real feelings can be a habit pattern, especially in our efficiency driven culture. Fast food, quick orgasms, getting rich quick, meditate deeper than a zen monk in 30 days etc. Sex can be many things, but it’s definitely meant to be a place where we can let go of our tensions, rather than create more. Think about it – how can you possibly fully receive/ experience all of that electrical stimulation, when your body’s pace is actually way slower. What we don’t feel in the moment, tends to get stored as tension. The over-stimulisation that vibrators create, compounds with the over-stimulated world we live in. It takes its toll on our nervous systems. What’s underneath this kind of habit is often an avoidance of meeting real feelings, real sensations and real intimacy. Moving at the pace of our bodies means being able to feel everything, and that does mean more pleasure, more orgasm. The more women experience their body’s natural capacity for incredibly pleasurable orgasms without electrical assistance, the more they want to keep exploring it.
I’ve witnessed people opening new pleasure pathways because of vibrators too, so I’m not totally against it. I just have a lot of faith in our body’s natural electricity. It feels way more connected, it’s more sustainable, it’s more empowering and doesn’t have unpleasant side effects. Like I said, any exploration is self knowledge gained. The main point I wish to convey in sharing this information is, taking the time to listen to our bodies, rather than believe the hype. And lets not forget that as the film Hysteria suggests, perhaps vibrators were invented by men as a convenient & lazy way for those who were at a loss ie. the medical industry, of how to engage the realms of subtlety in female orgasm. Historically, vibrators were originally not sexual items that women bought for themselves, but medical devices used as treatment (of hysteria!) by doctors during Victorian times.
May your orgasms be deeply mind-blowing, multiple, nourishing & satiating,
Note: this is written from the perspective of a woman who has dedicated 10 years + personally & professionally, into experiencing and facilitating deeply embodied states of extended tantric orgasm & is currently immersed in a deep study of evolving the human nervous system, which awakens what is really possible in our natural electricity. Mainstream media has many women believing vibrators are the end of the road.