You Deserve Respect In Your Sexual Emergence


In my humble opinion, we are currently still very much living in the structure of a patriarchal society in today’s world. I see it showing up not just in the home or in business, but also in spirituality.

Psychological neurosis is found everywhere in humans and the spiritual arena is not exempt – in fact it can be highlighted even more. Be aware that it’s often masquerading behind spiritual concepts, which is why it can feel so confusing. So listen to your heart and follow your instincts.

The unspoken agreement found in most tantra or other yoga schools, is that you should be sexually available to the teacher – however it does not mean that you as a woman must conform to their standards.






& so many more………’s presented to students in all different ways, often by having the student believe that she is a willing participant – the success of which can depend on his NLP skills.


These ambiguous sexual dynamics have been happening for a long time now in spiritual communities.

I believe that educating women to really know and love themselves is the answer.

Investing my time and energy in creating a healthy & effective alternative for women who are interested in tantra and yoga is my dharma.


Be aware of when you project spiritual importance onto a teacher – because they are also men with very human issues.

Don’t follow the crowd,

listen to your heart

& sharpen your instincts………perhaps with Tigress Yoga


With Love,



Disclaimer: Sex is a beautiful thing, enjoy it! This article & video is specifically referring to the situations where women are coerced, bullied, manipulated, lied to or lured into sex by gurus, swamis or spiritual practitioners that prey on their naive students who are genuinely seeking their spiritual guidance. Of course not all male spiritual teachers are like this, however this article is referring to those who are misleading women with spiritual concepts to conceal their sexual appetites.


There is a part 2 to this video, check the Tigress Yoga blog for ‘Sexual Exploitation of Women in Tantra Part 2’

13 Responses to “You Deserve Respect In Your Sexual Emergence”

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  1. I just saw this video for the first time. Thank you Devashi for speaking your truth and pointing at the elephants in the room. This issue of power, sex, ethics, integrity has many aspects and my perspective is that there is no healing without empowerment. And before a women can open sexually she needs to know her body, her emotions, her truth and be able to speak her truth. Any practitioner that is truly focused on the growth of their clients will prioritize their empowerment over their “openness” or sexual abilities. So often young women have strong energetic experiences that they can’t completely own and project onto their partner, particularly an older one or one who is a teacher.

    What i see as needed is a council of teachers, men and women, who are dedicated to the growth and awareness of all beings: students, fellow teachers and themselves. What is crucial for a teacher is to be open to feedback. If a teacher is not open to feedback and is not willing to consider their actions from other perspectives, i would not recommend that teacher to others.

    The is a need for male teachers/role models and for them to be supported by elder women who can without reservation refer women to these men. That is why i have sought the counsel, perspective and feedback from elder women. I am not perfect. i am also a student on the path and humility and willingness to listen is more important than any other quality a teacher has.

    Let us continue this dialogue and let the light shine in.


    • Dévashi Shakti says:

      Hi Robert,
      Thank you for your comments. I like it when people look at solutions of ways ahead. I totally agree with the need for being open to feedback.

      “And before a women can open sexually she needs to know her body, her emotions, her truth and be able to speak her truth” – as someone who is very focused on supporting women to develop self responsibility in these matters; I appreciate this statement however it is not a realistic one.

      Especially when she is new on the spiritual path, it should be assumed that a female student is still learning what her sexual boundaries are and that she’s still learning how to communicate her feelings. A lot of women have already had some kind of negative experience re sexual/ physical boundaries (with varying degrees), and if it is stored as trauma (which is often the case), the ability to communicate it is not going to be well developed. This is where I see men working as sexual healers missing an important role that they have in this work. It is not enough to say she should know herself and express herself clearly, when she may be needing healing around the ability to do these very things. If she has childhood trauma, she is likely to be storing it from a pre-verbal time so will probably not be equipped to communicate in an adult way about it. One way I suggest male practitioners can evolve their awareness and integrity with female students, is to be fully & deeply engaged in their own personal process outside of offering sessions to others, because it will bring a much greater level of sensitivity – brushing up on grounded psychology + perhaps somatic experiencing (or another kind of trauma therapy), outside of the tantric circles is going to bring a higher level of integration. There is little room for projection when a practitioner is coming from an energetically clear & knowledgable place. Then if it happens, it can be met with compassion.

      And when a female student is learning from a guru type of figure, she is probably going to be encountering transcendentally focused teachings that pretty much tell her to override her own instincts and feelings, which puts her into a state of confusion & self doubt. So communicating clearly her emotional needs and boundaries is not so straight forward in that case. This is where I see male oriented spiritual traditions missing the mark when it comes to teaching female students – because we have a different psychology. It would be great if women & girls were taught how to navigate their emotional realm consciously, rather than ignore, deny and not listen to their feelings. Of course we all want to transcend negative emotions, however the deep emotional world of most women is not a hinderance to the spiritual path – it can be seen as an asset, but it all depends on the level of integration in the teacher, as to whether they are able to guide female students in this way.

      With love & respect,

  2. AnRa MaEl says:

    Thank-you for this article, Devashi!

    This is SO important!

    I’m especially grateful, as it has actually assisted me in getting clear that what I’m offering in teaching the pathways of The Tantric Womb to women and men …. that the emphasis is really upon healing the blocks to empowering women to trust, honor and respect the voice of their bodies / yoni and womb, so, as to never, ever compromise themselves sexually .. EVER! …. and to instill a respect in men for this voice, and to show them, how it is actually also their guiding light into the most beautiful heart-centered expression of their manhood.

    I’ve been missing this understanding, in how I communicate about what I’m actually doing! Yay!

    Bless you,
    Love AnRa

  3. Shari Kocher says:

    I am very glad to see this message and honour its feminist integrity. This is of vital importance for women everywhere, yet I feel it has particular relevance and resonance for those of us embarking on Tigress development, since the issues of which Dévashi speaks are real and often overt enough to be immediately recognisable, yet they can also and do also masquerade in insidious and culturally pernicious ways. I feel it is not only a matter of personal awareness, discernment and individual choice as to how we go about our individual spiritual practices and relationships, but in coming to witness these sorts of patriarchal machinations in this, as in other fields, it becomes incumbent upon us to collectively safeguard these spaces and support the potential of women and girls in all the spheres of our daily lives. These are complex issues, and this a timely and important message. Thankyou, Dévashi.

    • Dévashi Shakti says:

      Honouring women is of highest benefit to both men and women. In nature, everything follows yin (feminine). May we learn how to respect the receptive feminine nature inside of us and around us. Om Shakti!

  4. Tania says:

    Thank you for this message Devashi,

    It is so important that this sort of message is heard and women are informed, especially when they are new to traversing spiritual circles and teachers. I was one such woman when I met an Indian Guru in my early twenties. I followed him wholeheartedly with all my devotion for over 10 years… only to find out he had been sexually exploiting and manipulating many of his female disciples. Although it never happened to me, it was completely traumatic and a real eye opener. I have since found out that many of the swamis and guru’s I once admired have been doing the same thing and so called enlightened teachers have some of the worst issues around sexuality and ego/control. Your practice of Tigress yoga is truly empowering for women and has helped me to redefine and re inspire my whole perspective on Yoga. Love your work sista!

    • Dévashi Shakti says:

      Yes & thank you for your reply.
      It is true that having compassion for the ignorance or suffering of others is the most appropriate response in situations that could be classified as abusive – and that is very much true. However, it’s also appropriate for especially young unsuspecting women to not hear anything at all about what does go on all the time, from those women who’ve been through it. That is also compassion. It felt important to show that I’m not emotional, angry and blaming these teachers etc for acting this way – I have felt that in the past – though now it’s more neutral for me.

      Every abuser is acting out from a place of their own suffering. I have learnt that to make their pain my pain is neither kind to myself or to them. It is only because these men are so repressed and confused with their own sexual energy that they would mistreat another. Sometimes it’s necessary to feel compassion while also feeling a clear ‘no’ (without emotional charge). In fact, I wonder if this is part of the karmic lesson for women, that we need to learn this clear no with love, in order to move beyond this cycle. React and it then becomes your pain. Don’t judge it and you probably won’t need to experience it. Feel real self love and you can see it coming so you can sidestep it, saying “no thank you.” This is what I have learnt <3

      • Izabella says:

        Totally. Keep growing the focus on the love from within. It’s the ultimate quality that gives you the real power to move toward more of what is loving and also attract more loving reflections. Onwards and upwards.

        x Izabella

  5. Thank you beloved woman! Yet again saying it out loud… my favourite line… “…you don’t need to bargain for your spiritual growth with your sexual essence. ” Spot on. Yay for tropical goodness!

  6. Devashi, Thank you for your raw courage and honesty in speaking what many will not speak of and being a light for women who are embarking on the Tantra journey … women become so vulnerable when they open and to have another woman with your experience saying ‘hey, take a look at this’ is imperative. And sometimes it is not only the teachers who can coerce the women, it can also be fellow participants, depending on the culture of the group.

    And for me … it is not against males, it is FOR women using their own intelligence and discernment and being so home inside their own body and being, that they know how to be and when to follow their heart.

    Thank God for women like you who have the courage to speak up,
    Thank you, Janet

    • Dévashi Shakti says:

      Exactly! and thank you Janet x

      I actually think what’s ‘against men’ is carrying on with behaviour that is creating more negative karma, instead of using their position wisely. And yes for sure, when a teacher sets the paradigm, the others follow so yes it does become the culture of the group. And everyone involved is creating their own karma because of that example that the leaders set.


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