While in a session, guided by a Somatic Experiencing practitioner, I had an extraordinary meeting with the wisdom of my animal. Animals actually. After guiding me to a deeply embodied state, from the stillness I witnessed in awe as my arms began moving, as though inhabited by serpents. It was truly fascinating, for both of us. I’ve experienced such things in altered states involving Ayahuasca & also via spontaneous Chi Gung, but this was different again. It was arising from what felt like the absolute deepest part of my being, in direct response to recovery from a specific trauma I was healing, and no shamanic substances were involved. So the serpents of my arms were moving, one in particular, as I completed a thwarted defence response, allowing my nervous system to further unwind itself from what had become PTSD. Although it wasn’t actually me ‘doing’ the movement, not at all. The serpents were moving me, as I watched in amazement at the intelligence and profound love of my own body. And then it got even more magical.
Can you imagine what it would feel like to be close up with a great wild lion? Well, that’s what happened next, that’s how it actually felt to be inside my own body. It’s too sacred to speak of afterwards, yet I will attempt to share it here because I want to reveal what we are missing by staying in the conditioned state of conceptual reality where everything is perceived only through the mind. So here goes……..next my human body semi-dissolved and I could feel my fur, the presence and felt sense outline of a lion embrace my entire physical form. And it was definitely a lion rather than a lioness, a great regal lion with a full mane. My heart felt like it could explode out of my chest in ecstatic response, with tears rolling down my cheeks, at how profoundly beautiful it felt to be “sitting inside my lion”, is all I could describe it as at the time. The session ended with me in that fully embodied feline state, barely able to speak and deeply in love with my animal. I was feeling utterly whole, protected and high as a kite – yet very very grounded and so deep in my body. He stayed with me strongly as I attempted to walk in my new (yet ancient) lion body. It reminded me a bit of the ‘fluffy’ ecstatic state I often feel during my menstruation time, yet it was different again. I had such a deeply ecstatic experience in that session. Walking down the hallway, I was laughing in awe & feeling like I was tripping on some kind of chemical-induced high. I tried my best to integrate back into the SE training group, while continuing to feel my lion body for hours. Perhaps my lion is the symbol and presence of my nervous system’s state of wholeness, and of self respect, indicating to me that I am home in my body.
My physiology is my compass. This is also an outcome of Tigress Yoga, where a woman gets to rest so deeply inside her body, that it re-orientates her to the wisdom of her primal realm. Then she has more range within her, to not be ruled by her analytical, masculine intellect alone. Life is much more rich and pleasurable this way. And we purr more!
Meeting the the profoundly loving nature of my wild animal like this feels so honouring. Not the kind of jumping around going wild in an effort to lose control, but the immensely present, fully embodied experience of my own animal. I’m seeing her with a whole new level of respect. Not only does her radar tune me towards more bliss, it changes how I perceive certain things going on in my life, helping me to make important decisions. My feline wisdom has spoken to me. I love my animal. I’m going to take good care of her.
With having access to all this inside, how is it we are so vulnerable to being abused as women? Ancestral patterning, disconnection from our primal reality & generational karma of being of service to the point of self neglect. This is the inner dynamic in women that leads to abuse.
We simply need much more time rolling around on the floor & on the Earth, embodying our primal intelligence, hearing our own roar – to know what a felt sense boundary is & surrendering to our own purrs of orgasmic pleasure (enter Tigress Yoga). Along with a conscious intent to stay focused on ourselves, more than, or as much as we focus on the other. And too often it takes this abandonment of self to really comprehend how vital it is to stay present to ourselves. So many women have fallen into the new age illusion of wanting to be loving at all times, thinking this means being receptive to any behaviour, as though it’s an opportunity to show how much we really love. This painful illusion does not align with how profoundly loving our animal instincts truly are. (And to hear that some fundamental new age thought comes straight from the Vatican shows it’s just the same old misogynistic agenda cloaked in spiritual mumbo jumbo).
Awaken out of the new age sleep that keeps your animal wisdom suppressed. It’s impossible to have healthy boundaries with a belief that you must be unconditionally loving at all times, in a way that only looks nice & ‘spiritual’. I’m not referring to anger (which can be healthy & necessary) or being guarded here, because when truly in touch with our animal, we get warning signs well before the need to explode….. if we are listening. As I say, Shakti must come first.
For naturally feminine women who have strongly empathic abilities, we are divinely attuned to feeling deeply – yet we can forget about ourselves. I personally believe that the more women who anchor their embodied primal state when it matters, in alignment with their feminine hearts; the more our sisters and next generations won’t need to keep running this pattern of self neglect. To be attuned to our own desires, comfortable with even having needs, to celebrate them, to explore them and fulfil them, with high self respect, while being loving to others. This is our destiny.
Disclaimer: I cannot guarantee that you will have the same experience from SE, because I’ve deeply explored my sensuality and sexuality thus far in my lifetime, which has activated divine coding, soul memory and such; though it will take you to exactly where YOU need to go within yourself. What I know for sure is that by exploring your primal intelligence, your own unique energies will awaken, we see it all the time in women via Tigress Yoga.