Feeling sensually alive
orgasmic, blissful and free……
sounds great, but be warned – it’s NOT going to be a path paved with rainbows, lollipops and unicorns!
“I HATED your workshop” it read, with capital letters and all. That first line to an email isn’t what one might expect to read after offering a heart-felt workshop where so much healing happened. Although after years of specialising in something in an area that few people dare to tread, the depths of female sexuality, I know it’s to be expected. Considering we were all in the same room of women in a group that strongly resounded with the overall feeling of appreciation, pleasure and desire for further personal enquiry, what happened for her?
So I asked of course. “I’m sorry to hear that. What was your experience?”
The workshop participant went on to describe feeling judged by all the other women and described the circumstances to which she felt that.
In reality, neither of those moments were judgement from the group coming towards her. I know because as a facilitator of women’s sacred spaces, my protectress is very vigilent to such energetics, my #1 priority is creating a safe container for women to be authentic and vulnerable. I checked in with another Instructor who was also present in this particular group and she confirmed my experience. (I’ve even addressed this kind of thing previously in one of the FAQs on the Tigress Yoga website about feeling judgement from others.)
Tigress Yoga is not for everyone – it’s only for women who are ready to really face themselves as creators, as powerful manifestors, as women committed to their maturity and personal growth.
It doesn’t always feel good in the moment. Tigress Yoga asks a woman to ‘hold herself’ in ways that she may not be used to. And as Instructors, we know that and it’s our job to gently guide you there anyway. Tigress Yoga is an invitation for a woman to grow and evolve her psyche from little girl to woman. It serves as an opportunity to expand her neural pathways, her nervous system’s capacity to develop an actual new range of self awareness and connection inside. That can mean a depth of compassion for oneself that can then effortlessly extend to others, where believing the worst is no longer something to indulge.
So what was really happening in this situation?
1. Tigress Yoga guides a woman to go inside, to get into an authentic flow with her own breath, body and expression. It WILL bring her into contact with what is already happening inside. Does that always feel good? No. But it is meant to bring her into a state of authenticity. The honesty of that authenticity and the instruction to keep releasing all that is not true via the practice, will guide her to let go of what she does inside her mind and emotions that isn’t serving her essential self to emerge and shine. It is known that facing our sexuality will take us to our deepest, darkest, most mysterious places……and that isn’t always easy.
2.What happened for this participant is what can go on in life all the time. It’s the perception of judgement coming towards us externally because we’re feeling that negativity internally. It’s the filter, the lense we are seeing through, so of course that’s going to colour what we perceive to be reality. It’s the experience of our own self judgement reflected back to us, even if in reality, it’s not actually going on. It’s a painful and awkward position to be in. The best thing we can do in such a situation is to enquire within, whether it may just be an internal experience that’s being projected out. After all, even if there was actual judgement coming towards you from someone else, it says nothing about you and a lot about them.
3. Many women come to this practice carrying and wanting to release some kind of trauma from the past. Since studying Somatic Experiencing, I’ve come to realise that EVERYONE has trauma, to some extent, not just in the most obvious cases of abuse. Frequently what women are processing in Tigress Yoga is trauma from childbirth too. When we are already overloaded in our nervous systems with trying to navigate life circumstances through the experience of unresolved trauma, it is very common to ‘couple’ it with something else, without even knowing. ‘Coupling’ is a term I’ve learnt in trauma therapy training, which means when 2 experiences are entwined to the extent that we think we are certain of its meaning. Often what we’ve coupled the trauma with is unrelated or neutral…….and even if what our mind has coupled it with is actually something that can help you unhook from the trauma eg. Tigress Yoga. It can be confusing while in such a place and can seem almost impossible to find one’s way through it.
What can happen when a woman isn’t practiced in taking responsibility for her experience, is she will believe the negative talk in her mind to be real and will interact from a place of believing it to be true.
Try applying this to a situation or circumstance where you think someone has done you wrong:
AWARENESS – when you know the above is a common experience, you can more easily question it when it happens to you.
WITNESS – what would happen if you witnessed the negative voices instead of believing them to be real? How good would that feel in your heart and in your body?
SELF KINDNESS – choose the reality you want to live in. Imagine a world where people are not out to get you or have you feel uncomfortable. Ask yourself, “what if everything and everyone is here to help me?”. What if a situation you previously thought was destructive is actually benevolent in intent? What might happen if you didn’t assume the worst? How much more support could you receive? Maybe even liberation from something that kept you stuck for a long time?
FOCUS ON LOVE – the Tigress Yoga practice itself shows a woman how to find her alignment with what is real and true, grounded in her own sensations and feelings, deeper than emotion. Let go of the pull to focus on your mind’s imaginings and come back to the simplicity of your beautiful breath in your sacred body. Your breath rythm, your sounds, your movements, they all facilitate the dissolving of a dominant neo-cortex into the pure bliss of being. The limbic resonance from practicing with other women is also part of the process to bring you back into harmony with other people around you, into the field of loving energy that in truth, is always surrounding you.
It isn’t appropriate to say anything more about the situation from the email mentioned earlier, however, it’s a reasonably common reaction to Tigress Yoga, from women who feel unprepared to meet and embrace aspects of themselves. Some women arrive just thinking it’s going to be a nice experience, perhaps one that is meant to always feel good, but it’s so much more than that. Look out for the next blog on ‘Why Yoga Is Not Therapy’ to further enquire into the realities of this work and why it’s valuable to learn emotional self-responsibility as a woman on the yogic path.